I'm sure many of you have heard the saying "Comparison is the thief of Joy". I think this is one of the truest statements to exist, but what does it really mean? Most of us (including myself) are guilty of comparing ourselves to other people. We do not feel content with our lives and who we are, we are constantly comparing ourselves to others. This has been exacerbated by social media where people portray their "amazing life" which makes us feel like we are inadequate. We compare every aspect of our lives with other people. We live in a world where people only show the great things about their life or in other words their "highlight reel" and we compare our life to this highlight reel which does not show the struggles and difficulties these people go through. We tend to see people's achievements and successes but have absolutely no idea of the struggles, blood, sweat and tears that goes on behind the scenes.
It is easy to look at someone and say "I wish I had what they have" but if you were to go through what they had to go through to obtain it you wouldn't even want it anymore. I see many people on social media comment "Goals" on a lot of pictures i.e. relationship goals, friendship goals, hair goals, body goals etc. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having goals, I encourage it but I do not think we should look to other people to be our yardstick of what we should be. God created everyone individually and gave each person a unique path. The path God has set for you is for you and no one else. If a door is not opening in your life then it means it is not your door to open but it's for someone else. When the time is right God will open the right doors for you.Social media can have a great affect on our confidence and self esteem. Just by going on instagram you see numerous 'beautiful' women and if you are a female and not careful you will begin to compare yourself to them and feel like you are not attractive. But we have to be careful because many of these 'beautiful' women have either had surgery, are wearing tons of make up, use photoshop, angles, lighting, filters etc to look 'beautiful' so we are just comparing ourselves to false images. Learn to see beauty in yourself. Another area where comparison occurs are relationships, there are these social media couples who portray these perfect relationships, but you do not know what goes on behind the scenes. There could be infidelity, abuse, loneliness etc. People will only show you what they want to. I'm sure there are couples you know personally who have many issues but on their social media they look more than perfect, do not make idols of other people's relationships.
I think the biggest area where comparison happens the most is money. In the media and on social media numerous people love to portray their luxurious lifestyle. For some of these people you can not tell how they are able to fund this lifestyle. I had a conversation with my brother about these young attractive females usually in their early 20's who have a large following and have all these expensive items but looking at their social media page there is no sign of what they do in terms of job or career. I see many of them with a booking email ending with '@gmail.com' and you can not tell what kind of service they are even offering to book them for. Though we do hear of the "sugar daddys' and the scammers it just shows that we shouldn't envy these people's lives. Some people will do questionable things in order to obtain money. The bible says not to envy these people. " Don't envy sinners but always continue to fear the Lord...you will be rewarded for this" (Proverbs 23:17) Not all money is good money and I believe money obtained by illegitimate means will never last as stated in the bible "Dishonest money dwindles away, but whoever gathers money little by little makes it grow." (Proverbs 13:11)
There was a time in my life when I was depressed, it seemed like nothing was working out in my life. No matter how hard I tried, doors kept closing around me and I kept failing. I felt like I wasn't good enough and felt inadequate, I saw things working out for my peers and I always used to ask God why he is allowing things to work out for others but not for me though I've worked equally as hard. I felt like I was a failure. Feeling low about myself I used to ask myself things like: why aren't I as pretty as her? Why don't I earn as much money as they do? Why haven't I achieved as much as they have?. Through this season (which I call the wilderness season) God was teaching me to be patient. I used to think that because I worked hard I was entitled to receive what I wanted when I wanted, after all I put in the work. However God needed to teach me that my plans for my life cannot override what his plans for my life is. I was used to having things my way and working the way I wanted it, I allowed my selfish ambitions to take over. Looking back I am thankful I went through that period of my life, it taught me to trust in God's timing and not my own time. After a while doors started opening for me and I am in a much better position now than I was before. If the wrong doors had opened for me when I wanted them to I wouldn't be where I am now. I believe that rejection, failure and closed doors can be a blessing in disguise and can also be a way of protecting you.
