R.I.P Chadwick

I woke up on Saturday morning, checked my instagram and saw that Chadwick Boseman was dead. This shocked me. I didn't want to believe it was true, I was was thinking to myself "how can Chadwick be dead?". I saw that he died of cancer and he was battling with this for 4 years. Cancer really hits home for me, multiple family members of mine and family friends have died from cancer.  I remember a few years ago visiting a family friend at hospital (who had cancer). He was on his deathbed and I couldn't stop crying seeing him in that state. I felt helpless,  a couple days later he was dead.

Another time, a close family member was diagnosed with cancer. I was there when the Doctor diagnosed them. I attended every hospital appointment with them. I was there during their chemotherapy sessions, I was there when they had surgery, I was there when they had to do multiple tests. I saw first hand the effect chemotherapy had on their body. It is the chemo that causes hair loss (from all parts of your body), it causes a loss of appetite, your tastebuds aren't effective, this leads to significant weight loss. It makes you extremely weak. The reason being that chemo kills the bad cells and good cells in your body, as it can not differentiate between the two. Thankfully that family member recovered after some time.

Chadwick was diagnosed with cancer in 2016. That year (at age 26) I found a lump on my body. I was scared and was thinking the worst. I  informed my GP who immediately referred me to the hospital. I was referred to the same cancer department that I had previously attended with my family member that had cancer. I saw the same Doctor who diagnosed my family member. I had multiple hospital appointments, saw multiple Doctors/Consultants, I had to have biopsies and multiple tests. Thankfully in the end it turned out not to be cancer and I had an operation to remove that lump. This was a huge health scare for me (this is why I take my health and fitness so seriously). Last year I mourned the death of my uncle who died from cancer.

Chadwick dying from cancer brought up all these memories for me. I was surprised that he still managed to do multiple films back to back (while playing the lead character) while having cancer. Knowing personally the affect of chemo I didn't understand how he could have physically performed those roles as he would have been extremely weak and in a lot of pain, plus the mental toll it would have had on him, knowing that there is a possibility he may die from it. Despite this he still gave his all. He played the roles of legendary black people, In '42' he played Jackie Robinson, the first black person to play in major league baseball. He played the role of the singer James Brown aka the Godfather of Soul in 'Get on up'. He played "Thurgood Marshall",  the first black supreme Court Justice in the film 'Marshall'. This film showed the early years of Marshall's life as a lawyer, I took an interest in this film as I am a black lawyer myself. Thurgood Marshall won the infamous Brown v Board of Education case which allowed the desegregation of schools across America.

The biggest role that Chadwick played was the first black superhero, T'challa aka Black panther. Two years ago my friend took me to watch the film on the day it was released. I was so excited to see it. You can click here to read my post about it. Chadwick was a great actor and nobody could tell that he was sick. He persevered through his pain. He had every reason and excuse to not film or to not give a good performance, but he didn't. This shows extreme strength, courage and determination. This made me realise that in life if we persevere and are very determined to achieve, we can. We should not allow excuses to stop us from achieving our goals. Chadwick knew he had a greater purpose on earth, he touched the lives of millions of people worldwide. He became a hero and role model to many. People became proud to be black, people became proud to be African, this was a huge cultural shift amongst Africans and those in the diaspora. During his pain he still attended hospitals to see children with cancer, whilst battling it himself.

What did upset me was the livestream he did (where it was evident he had lost considerable weight) talking about donating money to help with the COVID-19 relief efforts, there were idiots who were making fun of him. People can be so negative! That is why I am always kind to people as you never know the battles people are going through behind closed doors. People wonder why he never told anyone, but I don't blame him, I would have probably done the same in his situation. Sometimes you don't want pity or to be constantly reminded about what you are going through.  You don't want to be a victim. When you are around people who don't know what is going on you forget your struggles and it takes your mind off it.

In life we all go through hardships, difficulties and pain, but we shouldn't allow this to stop us from achieving our goals. I believe that we all have a purpose on earth. One day we are going to leave this earth. I would rather die knowing that I have achieved my goals and touched/changed the lives of people, than die without accomplishing anything. Rest in Power Chadwick, you have left a Powerful Legacy here on earth. Thank you for all you have done for us, you are with the ancestors now. Wakanda Forever

My Journey to becoming a Lawyer

My journey began at 16 years old. I had no idea what I wanted to do career wise, and to be honest, Law had never even crossed my mind. In my final year of secondary school I was fortunate to obtain a place at a week long summer school at Cambridge University. This was part of a wider scheme to introduce students from "disadvantaged" backgrounds to University to encourage them to apply in future. In relation to the disadvantaged background,  I was a black female, from a working class background who grew up in a council flat, and attended local state schools. I didn't have any connections and did not personally know any professionals, let alone any lawyers (the first time I met a lawyer I was 19/20). My mother had instilled in me from a very young age the importance of education. As we didn't have much growing up, my mum always emphasised that education was the key to a better life.  Because of this I was very studious and academic, achieving good grades.  My teachers were encouraging and reminded me that I could achieve anything I wanted.

During the summer school, it felt surreal being at one of the worlds top universities. The other students and I stayed on campus for a week and attended  a number of lectures. These were introductory lectures  in a wide range of subjects  including History, English, Science, Law plus many more. In the Law lecture we were introduced to criminal law which I had found extremely interesting, out of all the lectures it was the only one I didn't find boring. This is what sparked my interest in law and I did further research. I did have doubts as to whether someone with my background could be a criminal lawyer as the legal profession is dominated by privately educated upper class white males, which is the complete opposite of who I am. Fast forward I went to sixth form to do my A-Levels in English Literature, Psychology and Sociology and got accepted to do a degree in Law and Criminology at Manchester University.

Minus the social side of university which I enjoyed, I found studying at university quite challenging. There were times I considered dropping out. To be honest I am not a big fan of lectures as I find it really passive and I prefer classrooms where it is more interactive as I learn a lot better. This did affect my grades and for the first time in my life I had to do exam resits (2 in total). I felt like a failure in life as I was always used to getting good grades, I even cried on the phone to my mum about this. However, when I did my resits there were so many other students who were also resitting that I felt less bad lol. Fast forward again, I graduated with honours.

Now being a graduate, reality hit me hard. There is this notion that we are fed that if you work hard and get your qualifications you will automatically get a good job. THE LIES! I learned really quickly that work experience and who you know is  far more important and will get you further. I applied for work experience at multiple firms (the vast majority never got back to me), but luckily a small high street firm in east London specialising in criminal defence offered me a placement for a few months. It was unpaid but the experience I gained was invaluable. After this placement  I experienced a few months of unemployment (I had applied to law school to do my Legal Practice course but this course wasn't starting for another 6/7 months). My mum made me apply for Jobseekers allowance so I could have some income in the meantime while applying for jobs, so I was signing on bi-weekly. I became depressed during this period as I saw some of my peers with their graduate jobs while I was unemployed at home and broke. I never expected to be in this position, however this is a reality for many graduates and we should be be encouraging them and not putting them down, (I had experienced this).

Fast forward I studied the legal practice course (LPC) part time while working part-time in retail. In order to qualify as a solicitor you need to complete a training contract for two years with a  law firm. Obtaining one is very difficult and can take years, some students aren't able to obtain one. I had applied to numerous firms, either I never heard back from them or I got rejection emails. It definitely affected my self confidence. I thought I would never obtain a training contract and was ready to give up, I had even stopped applying to firms for a period of time. I remember one of my colleagues at my retail job had asked me if I had made any recent applications, I told her I hadn't and felt like giving up. She started shouting at me saying that I had made it too far to quit now and I should keep going. I felt like I was being told off but she was right, that was the kick I needed to continue applying. I also came across an organisation called Urban Lawyers which helps black people and ethnic minorities to enter the legal profession. I went to a few of their events and it was good to see many people that looked like me from similar backgrounds who were lawyers or working towards entering the profession. After a year and half of applying I managed to obtain a training contract with a high street firm and became a qualified Solicitor in November 2017. In the UK 21% of solicitors are from a BAME background and of this 15% are Asian and only 3% are black. We need more black lawyers in the profession.

The hardest part of the legal profession is getting your foot in the door. Once it is in, it becomes easier.  I used this this opportunity to network and build relationships with various lawyers. I've had the opportunity to speak to top lawyers who have represented clients in some of the biggest cases in UK history. I've worked on cases dealing with murder, rape, multi-million pound fraud, supplying class A drugs as well as less serious offences. Despite my accomplishments I've always felt self-doubt, that I'm not good enough and don't deserve to be in this space. I later learned that this is called "imposter syndrome" and  that many working class/black professionals experience this.

The lessons this journey has taught me is to always be persistent despite failures (which is inevitable). Despite the difficulties that you may face due to race, gender or class do not use it as an excuse to not achieve in life. Life is what you make of it.  I also learned the importance of black representation, because when you see someone who is similar to you achieving great things it will inspire you to believe that you can also achieve the same. It is important to have supportive people around you who will encourage you and push you to  be great. Do not waste time on negative people. Personally, I like being around people who are ambitious go-getters as  this motivates me to do better. I believe that God and my ancestors have had my back and seen me through this very difficult journey and will continue to see me to greatness.