2819 comes to London

A couple of years ago, I discovered Philip Anthony Mitchell on YouTube. What I liked about him was his very direct preaching style; he doesn’t sugarcoat things or tell you what you want to hear. He tells you what you need to hear. Everything he preaches is biblically based, and he’s not afraid to speak truth regardless of how people feel about it. One thing about me — I love outspoken people (as I’m quite outspoken myself lol). Since then, I became a digital disciple. I said to myself that one day I would fly to Atlanta to see him preach in person. I had even discussed this with someone from my church who had been thinking the same thing.

Last November, I saw on the 2819 Instagram page that there would be a summit in London on 1 February 2026. I was over the moon — I started messaging my friend to let her know, but before I could finish typing my message, she had already messaged me about it. We were determined to make it to this event by any means necessary! We were thrilled. Luckily, on the day the tickets were released, she was able to secure tickets for us. I was so happy that the event was happening at ExCeL London, which is local to me, and on top of that, the event was free! This was perfect. Many people from my church also got tickets.

When 1 February 2026 came, I was fired up. We got there a couple of hours before the event and were near the front of the queue. I couldn’t believe it was finally happening — I would finally see Philip Anthony Mitchell preach live without having to travel to Atlanta. While in the queue, we even prayed that when we got inside the arena, we would get seats near the front in the middle, and guess what? God answered that prayer, and we had a perfect view. As soon as we walked inside the arena, it felt so surreal. I actually felt like I was in the 2819 Church in Atlanta, as the setup was identical to what I have been watching on YouTube every week.

The praise and worship was amazing. I loved the songs they sang, including Jehovah Gibbor and Marvellous (I have been playing Marvellous on repeat). When I saw Philip Anthony Mitchell on the stage, I was so excited!!  His message was about the book of Jude. Pastor Philip emphasised that we do not have much time left and that we need to be serious about our faith and get right with Christ. We need to speak up and contend for the faith; we can’t be scared to “offend people” or be passive, otherwise other religions and ideologies that do not align with Christianity will continue taking over the UK. If we are not careful, Christians in the UK will be persecuted (which has already started happening). We have a duty to spread the gospel and defend Christianity against worldly movements. This message really moved me, I was locked in the entire time. I genuinely don’t think anyone in that arena left the same — it made all of us realise there’s a lot of work for us Christians to do. 

I am so grateful to God for allowing me to have this life-changing experience and for being able to share this with my sisters in Christ. For years, I had been praying to God for Christian sisterhood. I wanted a group of mature Christian women who could provide me with wise counsel, challenge me to grow closer to Christ, and lift me up in prayer. God answered that prayer for me (“Walk with the wise and become wise" Proverbs 13:20). We can’t walk on this Christian journey alone. God has been showing me the importance of community and being in the right environment for growth. That is why I'm also grateful for my church community. Though I’ve spent most of my life in church since childhood, ARC Forest Gate is the only church I have ever felt fully connected to. I remember praying to God about what I wanted in a church, and ARC ticked every single box. I will forever be grateful to my girl Shak for inviting me to this church. Since joining the church, my faith has grown more than ever before. I believe it is alignment, as both ARC and 2819 have been journeying through the book of Matthew in the ESV version during their sermons. I am excited to continue walking with Christ in this community, to grow in boldness in my faith and to spread the gospel. This season has been full of answered prayers, love, joy, and peace.

IShowSpeed Africa Tour

As a millennial, I only became aware of the streaming world about a year ago. What I found fascinating is that young men in their early 20s were becoming millionaires purely from live-streaming their day-to-day lives. Two popular streamers I see mentioned a lot are Kai Cenat and Speed. I didn't realise how influential these young men were. I had seen clips of Speed in China and Europe, where huge crowds of people were following him and screaming his name. I was shocked; in my eyes, he was getting more attention than most A-list celebrities. I wondered why he was so famous.

Recently, Speed did a tour of Africa, visiting 20 countries. As an African myself, I decided to tune in to parts of the tour. It was very entertaining and educational. Seeing how he was received all over Africa, and the large crowds he drew from people of all ages, showed how much influence he has. I had assumed his audience was mostly Gen Z, but it clearly included people of all ages.

From the Egyptian pyramids, to the Maasai tribe in Kenya, to the AFCON finals in Morocco, to Speed receiving a massage in Ghana while the women chanted "Kurya Kurya Kurugengen," it was an epic tour. What surprised me was the number of online clips of people (mainly Americans) who were shocked by what they saw in Africa; they had believed the whole continent was nothing but dirt, sand, mud huts, and poverty. I was thinking: in this day and age of the internet and YouTube, how did they not know that Africa has cities, especially with YouTubers such as Wode Maya, who has been showcasing Africa on YouTube for many years?

Speed single-handedly shattered many negative stereotypes about the African continent and introduced a new audience to its numerous cultures. He took his time to embrace the local people in each country he visited and immersed himself in various cultural practices such as naming ceremonies, cultural dances, eating local dishes, and learning words in different languages. I liked that he was open to learning about these cultures and did not judge them negatively.

One downside of the tour was the racist abuse he suffered in North Africa. To be honest, it didn't surprise me; my parents previously lived in North Africa and told me about the racism they experienced. While at a football stadium in Algeria, objects were thrown at him by football fans, and he was called the n-word. I understand not all North Africans are racist, but there is a lot of racism in those countries towards Black people. For example, during the Morocco vs Senegal AFCON final, Morocco kept stealing the Senegalese goalkeeper's towels. Morocco also allocated only 2,850 seats out of 69,500 (just 4%) to Senegalese fans. Even the Moroccan reporters walked out of the press conference when the Senegalese coach came in. One of the worst things, in my opinion, was a Moroccan official breaching protocol by not handing the trophy directly to the Senegalese team. That is why I am glad Senegal beat them and won.

The tour shows how diverse Africa is, with its many ethnic groups, languages, and cultures. Africans are not monolithic. I am glad that the beauty of this continent has been showcased to the world. I’m also glad that years of negative propaganda have been challenged by this young 21-year-old and his team. I’m sure the number of visitors to the continent will increase dramatically because of this tour. If you are African or of African descent, it is something to be proud of. I am looking forward to when he does part 2 of the African tour.

Sinners

*Disclaimer: This post contains spoilers.

When I first heard about The Sinners film, I had mixed feelings. On one hand, I wanted to see the film because I'm a big fan of Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan films (plus Michael is FINE! lol). On the other hand, I was questioning whether I should watch it as a Christian, especially with a title called "Sinners". I saw a lot of discourse about the film online, some Christians watched it and loved it and others said it was demonic and were against it. We even had a discussion in church about it and people's opinions were split. Ultimately, whether to watch the film or not is down to one's own personal conviction. I ended up watching Sinners with my family and we enjoyed it. Is it a pro-Christian film? Nope, but there are elements of the film I believe are in alignment with Biblical principles which I am going to explore.

In the film, the vampires could only enter the jukejoint if they were invited inside. I see this as a powerful analogy: the devil can only gain access to our lives if we open the door to him. We don't have to explicitly invite him in but our actions, choices, and sinful behaviour can serve as an open door. When we sin, we create spiritual entry points that give the enemy room to operate in our lives. This is why repentance is important, to close these doors and reaffirm our alignment with God.

Another significant element is the character of Remmick, the head vampire, who I believe represents Satan. His goal was to turn everyone into vampires to build a community that reflects his values and submits to his control. In the same way, Satan seeks to lead people away from God and into his own kingdom. Remmick tempts others with the promise of a better life as a vampire—offering freedom, immortality, and community. This mirrors how the devil entices us with the temporary pleasures of the world. This reminds me of Matthew 4:8-9 when Satan tried to tempt Jesus: "the devil took him to a very high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and their glory. And he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me". Stack is an example of someone who gave in to temptation and ended up becoming a vampire. The main lesson I took from this is to resist temptation otherwise, in the end it will only lead to your downfall.

Another powerful scene is when Sammy recites the Lord's prayer—and Remmick recites it alongside him. I found this to be a key moment in the film. It serves as a reminder that the devil knows Scripture too. During Jesus’ temptation in the wilderness, Satan quoted Scripture in an attempt to deceive Him (see Matthew 4:6). This moment highlights a vital truth: being a Christian isn’t just about knowing Bible verses. Head knowledge alone doesn’t equate to true faith. There are people who aren’t followers of Christ who can quote Scripture front to back—but that doesn’t make them Christians. True Christianity goes beyond information; it’s about transformation. It means having a personal relationship with God through Jesus and allowing the Holy Spirit to dwell within us, purifying our hearts, renewing our minds, and guiding our lives. Though Sammy was a Preacher's son, his actions show that he didn't have the Holy Spirit in him as his god was his guitar, which he chose over his faith.

Music is a major element in the film. I’ve often spoken out about the music industry and the kinds of messages it promotes. In the movie, Sammy uses music to summon spirits from both the past and the future—including Remmick himself. We know that Satan was an Angel of music before his fall from heaven. That’s why I believe music is spiritually powerful—it can influence atmospheres and even open doors to the unseen realm. There are stories of artists who engage in rituals, smoke, or drink before creating music, sometimes claiming it enhances their “creativity.” One of the members of the Backstreet Boys did an interview and said that there are witches at record labels who demonically pray over albums before their release. Music isn’t just entertainment—it carries frequency, emotion, and intention. It can be used to uplift, worship, and heal, but it can also be used to manipulate, deceive, and invite spiritual influence. That’s why it’s crucial to guard your ear gates and be mindful of what you’re allowing into your spirit through sound. As believers, we should exercise our discernment when choosing the music we listen to.

The film also incorporates elements of Hoodoo, a traditional African American spiritual practice deeply rooted in African ancestral wisdom and nature-based rituals. In the film, Annie uses it to protect her husband, Smoke. She does not use it for evil. Her character is portrayed as wise and discerning, and her spiritual knowledge proves instrumental in the fight against the vampires. This can be interpreted as being pro-Hoodoo. As someone who has previously researched different African spiritual systems, I wasn't offended by this. Watching films or shows about vampires and the supernatural doesn't phase me, as I grew up watching Harry Potter, Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Nollywood films that have voodoo in them (as Christians, still use your discernment). There are many spiritual belief systems/religions on this earth that millions of people believe in. As a Christian, I believe that none of them can touch Christianity. In the Bible, there are many instances of people worshipping different gods, yet time and again, God shows himself to be more powerful than all of them.

Overall, I think Sinners is a great film and presents a layered narrative that intertwines spirituality, culture, and the unseen battle between good and evil. While it contains controversial elements, it also provides an opportunity to reflect on how faith, identity, and discernment play out in the real world. It raises important questions about how we engage with the world as Christians. Ultimately, it reminds us to stay spiritually aware, guard our hearts and minds, and seek God’s truth above all.

The Revolution will be Televised!

I never thought that in my lifetime I would witness an African leader capable of uniting not only Africans on the continent but those in the diaspora. I never thought I would witness an African leader who could defy the West and survive numerous assassination attempts. The Pan-African in me is screaming with joy!! This is all due to Captain Ibrahim Traore, the young President of Burkina Faso, who is changing the narrative.

As history shows, any African leader who defied the West and prioritised developing their own country and uplifting their people often paid with their lives. An example of this is Patrice Lumumba of Congo. Another example is Thomas Sankara of Burkina Faso, who achieved a remarkable amount despite his limited time in office. He increased the literacy rate from 13% to 73%,  promoted self-reliance and rejected foreign aid, and focused on building schools, health centres, water reservoirs, infrastructure projects, and many other accomplishments. Like the West typically does (in this case, France), they used a black person close to Sankara to assassinate him, his own childhood best friend, Blaise Compaoré.

Many people see Ibrahim Traore as Thomas Sankara reincarnated. During his short time as president, Traore kicked out the French, paid off Burkina Faso's debts, increased the GDP from $18.8 billion to $22.1 billion, made education free, invested in agriculture, and is currently constructing roads and factories, building a new airport, plus more. Like Sankara, he is pushing for self-sufficiency. Many of us have never seen a leader like Traore; the support for him is worldwide. On 30 April 2025, there were worldwide protests—from London to New York, Jamaica, and across Africa—as people came out to show their solidarity with Traore after American General Langley accused Traore of using his country's gold for his protection. We also know from history that this is another tactic of the West, creating false narratives of leaders. In this age of social media, I don't think this will work.

Even if Ibrahim did use his country's gold for protection, it is justified. His actions have made him a target, and there have been 19 assassination attempts on his life. One of his close bodyguards was paid $5 million to kill him, but the bodyguard took the money and then informed Traore (talk about integrity!). I believe France is scared. Traore's actions could set a precedent for other African nations to follow. Their grip on Africa is weakening, Niger and Mali already kicked them out. France has been receiving $500 billion annually in colonial taxes from Francophone African countries, and the way things are going, this is not going to last. Former President of France, Jacques Chirac, even said that France would become a third-world country without Africa.

What I believe has helped is Burkina Faso's alliance with Russia. I have seen some discourse online about people who are sceptical about this relationship, due to the history of foreigners exploiting Africa, which is understandable. To be honest, Russia does not have a history of exploiting Africa, and every country needs allies. Look at BRICS (Brazil, Russia, India, China, South Africa & others). Russia's intelligence was able to help foil multiple assassination attempts against Traore, so I'm not against it. 

I believe there is a shift in consciousness in Africa; the people have had enough. How much suffering and exploitation can a continent continue to endure? There are only so many times you can poke the bear before it reacts. The average age of an African is 19 years old, the population is rapidly increasing, most Africans have access to the internet and can see what is happening in the world. Traore is a beacon of hope across the continent and the world. All of these factors are great conditions for radical change. I believe we are currently and finally starting to witness the rise of Africa.

Race & Riots 2024

In 2011, I wrote about the nationwide riots in the UK sparked by the death of Mark Duggan at the hands of the police. Over a decade later, this country finds itself in the grip of another wave of violence and unrest. On 29 July 2024, eleven children and two adults were stabbed at a dance class in Southport. Unfortunately, three of the children have died. This tragedy has shaken the country to its core due to the magnitude of this horrific crime. The suspect in this case is Axel Rudakubana who was 17 years old at the time.

Initially, the media withheld the identity of Axel due to his age. In the absence of verified information, false reports and rumours spread rapidly, particularly among far-right circles. These groups falsely claimed that the perpetrator was an illegal Muslim immigrant who had entered the country by boat. However, the truth is that Axel is a British citizen, born in Wales, and is a Christian—not a Muslim.  Despite these facts, the misinformation ignited a wave of riots, starting in Southport, where a mosque was attacked. The unrest quickly spread to numerous cities across the UK, particularly in the north. There have been Arson attacks, shops have been looted, immigrant-owned businesses and property have been destroyed, hotels housing migrants have been targeted and there have been numerous attacks on brown and black people as well as Police Officers. Those who hold far-right beliefs must understand that the actions of a few individuals from a particular race do not define the entire race.  It is unfair that innocent ethnic minorities have to fear for their safety due to the colour of their skin. The violence of the rioters is not justified and I'm glad that the Law is coming down hard on them.

I've come across multiple videos of rioters being questioned about their motives. Many express anti-immigrant sentiments, with statements such as, "Immigrants are taking over our country," "We want our country back", "Immigrants are taking all of our jobs", "They are committing all the crimes and aren't helping our country". These views are rooted in ignorance. According to the 2021 census, the UK is 81.7% white, with 74.4% being white British—clearly still the majority. Historically, during World War II, around 2.5 million Indian troops supported British soldiers. After the war, facing a labour shortage, the UK invited immigrants from India and the Caribbean to help rebuild the country. Immigrants have made major contributions to British society. Let's not forget that the British Empire colonised/invaded roughly 90% of the world's nations and the exploitation of these nations helped to build the British economy. The UK's current demographic makeup is a direct result of this history.

Another perspective to consider is why these rioters harbour such strong anti-immigrant sentiments. The north of England, in particular, has higher rates of poverty, fewer job opportunities, and higher levels of crime compared to the south. There is a significant North-South divide in the country. Many of these people feel marginalised and forgotten by society, and their frustrations are exacerbated by the false information spread about immigrants by figures such as Tommy Robinson.  I believe this ideology is why the Reform Party had 4 million votes in the last general election. Immigrants have become scapegoats for the broader issues facing the UK, including economic hardship and social inequality. Much of this anger is misplaced, fueled by racism and a lack of understanding that ethnic minorities/immigrants often have to work harder and face barriers that white British people do not.

What does give me hope for the UK is the widespread counter-protests that have taken place across the country which outnumbered the far-right protests. People of all races—Black, White, and Asian have come together to stand against racism. This is the UK I'm proud of. As a Black woman who grew up surrounded by people from all ethnic backgrounds, I have always valued the diversity that makes the UK unique, especially in London. Not everyone in the world has the privilege of experiencing such rich cultural variety. I can have a chat with my Scottish neighbour, order Indian food, and learn Arabic from the Moroccan handyman working on my house. We live in a globalised world, and this diversity is something to be celebrated. I understand that racism will always exist in society, but there are countless individuals committed to building a more inclusive society where people from all walks of life come together to stand up for what is right. 

Is Social Media real or not?

Social media is great for connecting with people you know and making new connections with those who you would never cross paths with in real life. It is great for entertainment and getting information across to people. However social media today is very different to how it was when I was younger. I remember when I first joined instagram, about a decade ago. Back then, the main pictures people would upload onto the app were usually restaurant meals, pictures of nature, holiday pictures and basic selfies. The picture quality wasn't great. Fast forward to today things have drastically changed. 

Nowadays social media is more about lifestyle, image and looking rich. When I was young I used to watch a show called MTV cribs. On this show celebrities used to show off their mansions and the luxury items they own. Celebrities (and the rich) drove the expensive cars, had the latest electronics, had all the designer clothes, flew on private jets and lived this expensive lifestyle. This  lifestyle seemed far fetched for the average  everyday person. Nowadays it appears as if this “rich lifestyle” is normal for the average person. On Instagram you see average everyday people dripped down in designer wear, taking pictures with expensive cars, flying first class, in exotic holiday locations. It’s in our faces all the time. Now people expect this to be the norm. The sad thing is that people believe they are failing in life if they are not able to achieve this lifestyle, especially the younger generation. 

Social media has distorted reality for many people. They believe that living lavishly and being able to afford that lifestyle in your 20s is the norm, however that is not reality. In the UK the top 1% earn £160k per year. The average age of a millionaire is is around 57 years old and I'm sure the majority of them were broke in their 20s (minus the ones born into wealth). Most people are living average lives. Growing up, young people who did have cars drove bangers, and the most expensive brand people would wear was probably Nike. Now I see young men have very expensive cars as their first car and schoolkids wearing designer items. Young people don't realise that it is not the norm for the average 20 something year old to financially be on the level of wealth as a successful middle aged person. Yes there are millionaires in their 20s but it is a minority of people. Due to inflation and the cost of living crisis there are many people struggling financially. People need to discern what they see online to what actually happens offline. Plus there are many people out there who do not use social media. What we see on social media is not representative of what happens in society.

I've seen a number of cases on the news where people who portray themselves as rich online get arrested for doing scams, fraud or drugs. There are people willing to do anything and risk their freedom for "image". Mental health is on the rise, especially in younger people due to social media. It causes people to think that they are not good enough and haven't achieved much. When I was in my 20s I was pretty much broke, drove a banger and earned low income like many other poeple in that age range. Your 20s is your first time experiencing adulthood, you are still figuring life out, this is the time to learn and make mistakes, experience life and try different things. It's an exploratory time.

I think it boils down to self-esteem and validation. If you know your own identity and your worth and value, you wouldn't need external factors to validate you. If you have low self esteem and don't see yourself as worthy you will latch onto external things to find worth and value.

Social media platforms are now monetised and there is a whole "influencer culture". When I was growing up, influencer culture did not exist. I am am not against the influencer culture as some people have been able to make careers off of it, however I do question the type of content that is promoted by them. Some influencers do have a positive influence, while others don't. There are examples of the latter promoting scams, bad products and false lifestyles. You also get the 'baddie' influencers which are young women that have a particular aesthetic and build their careers on how they look. They tend to wear  excessive makeup, have lip fillers, BBL's, and wear fast fashion brands such as Fashion Nova and post heavily edited pictures. Some even try to make themselves look racially ambiguous.

The issue I have with this standard of beauty they present, is the influence it has on younger girls. I see teenagers who try and fit into this beauty standard with the make-up, and hairstyles, and even lip fillers. Due to this many young women suffer from low self-esteem. They compare themselves to something that doesn't even exist in reality.  Personally, I did not wear make  up until I was 20. Also, there is a lot of financial pressure on young men which is unfair. I do not expect a man in his 20's to afford luxury cars, tons of designer items or to be able to provide a rich lifestyle for his partner. It is not realistic. The loud minority have made it seem that this unrealistic lifestyle is the norm. NEWSFLASH it is not.  The majority of people are average, they earn average incomes, live in average homes and have average lives. Do not be hard on yourself because you have a normal life. There is nothing wrong with it. Live your life at your own pace, do what makes you happy. If social media makes you depressed, delete the apps and live in the real world. Your value is not determined by someone's opinion on social media, you are born with inherit value. Aim to be your best authentic self. God doesn't make mistakes, so you are not one.

Death to expectations

As humans that exist through this journey called life, we are met with numerous expectations that society expects us to fulfil. I see life as a path that we take but no matter how much we plan ahead we do not know everything that will lie ahead. We just have to face whatever obstacles we meet and try to figure out how to overcome them. We may not always make the right decisions, we may not have a clue how to proceed, we may fail at times but all of this is a learning journey. 

Society puts pressure on us from a young age to have everything figured out, to have a solid plan for our lives, and to know where we are going at each point of our lives. It's like taking a map out and figuring out which path to take from point A to B. No matter how much you plan this path, the map won't show you when it will rain heavily, or if there are wild dangerous animals you will encounter which can affect your journey. This shows that regardless of how much you plan, something can always happen which can completely change your plans. We don't plan for sickness, we don't plan for betrayal, we don't plan for loss, we don't plan for bereavement, we don't always plan for failure. These things can happen at any time.

We all go through hardships but we live in a society where it has been normalised to hide these and only show our successes, which promotes a false narrative to others that you can be successful without going through any difficulties. When people do fail they struggle with how to deal with this and feel that they are a failure in life, not knowing that failure is part of the learning journey and that life is a series of failures. Every successful person I have ever researched has stated in their life story that they have failed so many times, but the difference is that they never gave up despite these failures. They will simply try again and again and again. 

Sometimes we want to be able to control every aspect of our lives. Yes, there is a lot we can control, we can choose our friends, who we listen to, which path we want to take, and the places we visit. We can even mitigate risk in our lives, that's why insurance exists, in the event something bad happens insurance will pay out. But we have to let go of the idea that we can control every single thing because we can't as there are circumstances that will come up that we can not control.

This links with society's expectations. You may be expected to earn a certain salary by a particular age, but this may not take into account the socio-economic background you come from. You may be expected to be married by a certain age but this doesn't factor in the environment in which you live in which can greatly impact this. You may be expected to have children by a certain age, but this doesn't factor the health of your reproductive organs which can affect this.  You may be expected to "look" a certain way, but this may not take into account your genetics. Many of us are currently in life situations that we may not have expected to be in, we thought we would be further in life than we are, but circumstances beyond our control have affected this.

I wish society normalised failures so that people will know that it is a part of life so that they can feel encouraged to find ways to navigate this without feeling like a failure themselves. I wish society didn't put unrealistic expectations on people who end up thinking that due to them not being able to meet these expectations placed on them they are failures. I wish society didn't put pressure on people to have everything figured out because we can't. I wish society gave people more grace when they fail. We are humans, we do not know everything, and we never will. We will grow, we will make mistakes and we learn. Sometimes we may not know what decision to make and may feel lost in our journey. This is totally normal. So whatever point in your journey you are at currently at, know that your jouney is unique to you and step out in faith to carry on into the unknown.

Healing the inner you

This year I’ve been doing a lot of inner work and focusing on healing myself. This has been an emotionally challenging journey as it means facing unhealed traumas, being 100% real and honest with myself, understanding the roots of my negative thoughts and challenging this. This is a process where you have to be fully vulnerable with yourself as you have to take a deep reflection of your whole life, including revisiting painful memories. Healing is a journey, not a destination. It is something we have to keep working on. We live in a world where social media is prevalent and people are constantly showing us the highlights of their lives. It is easy for us to think that everyone else is living a great life except for us. One thing I've learned is that what we see on the outside of someone's life is not always a true reflection of what's going on in the inside. Contrary to what people show on social media, most people have silent battles we will never know about and are going through struggles in life. We all need healing.

I've spoken about mental health before and going to therapy. I will always advocate for therapy and if you are able to, I would recommend doing it. I am glad we live in a society where people are more open about their mental health issues as this is a topic which has previously been taboo. 

I've learned a lot during this journey and have made a list of things I did that you can apply to your own life and healing journey. 

• Forgiving myself and others for past mistakes
• Addressing my unhealed traumas
• Visiting my inner child
• Unlearning detrimental things I was taught to believe
• Challenging the negative beliefs I have, especially towards myself
• Replacing negative thoughts with positive ones e.g. instead of saying 'I am a failure' say "I am a success"
• Not comparing my life to others (this is a struggle!)
• Understanding that titles, finances, status and people's opinions do NOT determine my value.  I am valuable in the eyes of God
• It is ok to fail, it is ok to struggle, it is ok to cry and it’s normal to find life hard
• I don't always have to be strong
• It is ok to not know things, you don’t always have to know what is next or have the answers for everything. Sometimes we just don’t know. It is ok to not have life figured out
• Be picky with who to share things with, some people will speak negativity over your life and try to stop you from progressing
• Not to live my life trying to meet the expectations of others, it is draining, plus it's not my responsibility. 
• Prayer/meditation
• Listening to high-frequency music without vocals 

Here are books I’ve read to help me on my healing journey:

      

Remember that everyone goes through struggles that no one knows about, so whatever you are going through, you are not alone.

They Cloned Tyrone

 

About a month ago I watched "They Cloned Tyrone" on Netflix and I can honestly say that this is a great film. There are a lot of themes in this film which I would like to delve into. The main character in the film is Fountaine, he is a drug dealer who lives in the hood called Glen in America. He lives with his mother and his day-to-day life is pretty much the same routine, he gets up, goes to the liquor store, buys a scratch card, gives some alcohol to a homeless man and exercises. One of his clients is a pimp named Slick Charles who has a prostitute named Yo-Yo. One night Fountaine gets shot and killed by a rival drug dealer and Slick Charles and Yo-yo witness it. The next day we see Fountaine wake up, and do his daily routine as if nothing had happened. The crazy thing is that he has no injuries and no recollection of the previous night's events. It's apparent that something strange is going on and during the film, the trio go on a quest to investigate this and make some very interesting discoveries.

One of the discoveries is an underground laboratory full of white scientists who are surveilling and studying the black residents of Glen and their behaviours. This is not too far off what happens in real life. In history when European explorers would go to Africa, they would study the native people and their behaviours. Part of the reason they did this was to colonise their lands and to control the people. In modern times spending behaviours of black people are monitored for marketing reasons so big brands can make money. Western powers also watch what is going on in Africa so that they can continue to rob Africa of its resources and will take action against any threats. The whole notion of monitoring black people is for control. 

Another discovery made by the trio is a powder which is used in products primarily consumed by black people. One example is fried chicken, in the film the chicken is addictive and those who eat it laugh uncontrollably.  I believe this is an analogy of what happens in real life. When I visited America a couple of months ago, the food tasted a lot better than the food in the UK and was somewhat addictive. However, when I looked at the ingredients list there was always a very high sugar content and it included a number of ingredients I had never heard of. Many ingredients in the food in the USA are banned in Europe and other places. These ingredients have negative side effects and are not good for the body. You could argue that the food is basically a form of poison to make people sick which in turn makes a lot of money for Big Pharma as you have to pay for Healthcare in the USA.

Another area is music. There is a club scene where music is played to control the crowd. In another scene in the lab they play rap music about violence in a pod with two black men who are fighting. Once the scientists change it to mellow music about hugs, the men then stop fighting and hug each other. It exemplifies how music can control human behaviour. To a degree this is true. A lot of rap music that is pushed is violent and degenerate which promotes negative behaviours. Lord knows the amount of rap songs there are about killing 'niggas', taking drugs and degrading women. There are men who have been murdered due to rap music (particularly drill). Female rap is hypersexualised, the majority of female rappers just rap about sex and their vaginas, there is hardly any real substance in their music. Recently I heard a song with the following lyrics "My pussy pink, my bootyhole brown" which is from the song Poundtown by Sexyy Redd. Degenerate music like this gets pushed to the forefront. Even the City girls who promote using and scamming men for money actually became a popular culture among young women. As much as some may disagree I believe music does have some influence over people's behaviour.

The main theme in this film is cloning. The trio find clones in the underground lab. To keep the hood the way it is, the scientists clone people who are not good for the community. Fountaine (who is a clone of the original scientist) and Slick Rick find their clones, due to one being a drug dealer and the other being a pimp. The scientists do not clone Doctors, lawyers or successful people from the hood that will benefit the hood, instead, they clone those who are rather regressive. I believe this is done on purpose to keep the black residents of Glen stagnant and controlled. In the end we meet Tyrone, who is a stereotypical black man from the hood who is also a clone of Fontaine. In American history, there have been instances when white Americans have been involved in practices to "keep black people in their place". One of these is redlining where those living in black neighbourhoods were denied access to loans, mortgages and insurance, thus preventing them from progressing financially, thus keeping their neighbourhoods poor.

There is a lot more to the film I didn't discuss but the above points are my main takeaways from watching the film. I believe the film was a creative way to show the things that go on in society.  

Hi Barbie!

When I was a child I was obsessed with Barbie. I remember when my mum used to bring home the Argos catalogue (those of you from the UK will know about this catalogue), I used to open it and go straight to the pages near the back where the Barbie products were and show my mum all the barbie toys I wanted. My mum only ever got me one Barbie doll as we didn't have much financially (I recently saw an interview with Nicki Minaj who pretty much said the same thing about only having one Barbie growing up). 

Despite being in my thirties, when I heard about the Barbie film I was so excited! The inner child in me was screaming with joy! Though I didn't know what the storyline of the film would be about I knew I had to see it regardless. I saw so much marketing and promotion of the film everywhere. I read online that $150m was spent on marketing the film, which cost more than actually making the film. There were numerous companies that had collaborations with Barbie including Zara, Forever 21, Primark, Nyx Cosmetics, Air BnB, Burger King plus many more. I kept seeing the colour Pink everywhere, plus the numerous Barbie related Reels and TikToks all over social media.

My friend bought us tickets to see the film on the opening day. We all wore something pink to go with the theme. As we got to the cinema many people of all ages and genders were wearing pink. I loved it! All the Barbie fans knew the assignment. The film surprised me as it had deep messages that I did not expect. I'm going to discuss the themes in more detail.

Diversity

One of the key points I took from the film was about diversity. In Barbieland all the women are called Barbie and all the men are called Ken. The Barbies and Kens come in all different skin tones and sizes. What this showed to me is that any girl can be a Barbie, you don't need to have Blonde hair and blue eyes to be a Barbie. I think this sends a powerful message to little girls that they can also identify themselves with Barbie regardless of how they look. There have been past criticisms about Barbie pushing unrealistic beauty standards on little girls which can be damaging, this topic is discussed in the movie. In the film the main Barbie played by Margot Robbie is known as the "stereotypical Barbie", she is white, slim and has blonde hair and blue eyes. This is the image of Barbie that we all know. This film did a good job of pushing away from this narrative and making Barbie inclusive.

Feminism

Barbieland is a feminist's heaven. The Barbies run everything, the Presidency, the Supreme Court, and all the professions. There is the President Barbie, Doctor Barbie, Lawyer Barbie, writer Barbie etc. The Kens are more so background characters that play a supportive role. I believe the message of this is to show little girls that they can be anything they want to be and can aspire to have high-level careers which are normally dominated by men.  I see Barbieland as the inverse of reality where men dominate in positions of power.

Patriarchy

Another theme that is discussed is patriarchy. When Ken goes to the real world he discovers patriarchy and for once he feels that he is important as a man, whereas in Barbieland he didn't. He takes his new knowledge into Barbieland and brainwashes all of the Barbies and Kens. Now the Kens run Barbieland and all the Barbies are subservient to the Kens. What was Barbieland becomes Kendom. What was once a matriarchal society has now become Patriarchal. In the film Mattel, the company that created Barbie is run by men even though their products are for girls. The board of directors are all men and there is only one female member of staff (Gloria) in the whole company. For Mattel, making money is their priority, they don't care about the impact their products have on girls.

Womanhood

There was an emotional monologue by Gloria about womanhood and how difficult it is to be a woman in modern society. As women we are expected to adhere to a lot of unrealistic expectations such as beauty standards, always having to be selfless and putting others before ourselves. If we are bosses then we can't be assertive otherwise we are seen as being mean. Dealing with the difficulties of motherhood without complaining because we'll be seen negatively. We have to be humble about our accomplishments so that we don't make others uncomfortable. We are sometimes blamed for the bad behaviours of men. We have to be likeable. We are not allowed to fail. Being unable to keep up with these standards can make us feel like we are not good enough. The monologue hit deep for me because the experience of being a woman is very complex and nuanced. These are real challenges women go through and this monologue will resonate with many women.

I don't think the Barbie film would be for everyone, especially if you are not a Barbie fan already or a little girl. Overall, I do believe this film will leave a positive message to the viewers especially little girls.

African American History Museum

I recently travelled to the USA to visit family and I was staying in the DMV area. As a lover of black history I've always wanted to visit the African American History Museum since I first heard about it some years back. I finally got the chance to attend the museum in Washington DC and it was a great experience. I went with my cousins and we were literally there for 5 hours. The museum is huge and has 7 floors, so to have the full experience it will take most of the day to explore each floor. I know some people split this into multiple days. As I was only around for a short time I wanted to explore the whole museum in one day.

As you enter the museum  there are three floors below. So how it is designed is that you start at the very bottom which starts with the history of how slavery started and Africans being captured. As you move along the museum it is like you are travelling through time. It then continues  to the slave ships and then slaves reaching America. Everything is in chronological order and there is a LOT of information to read. As much as I wanted to read every single thing, I couldn't due to time, we had spent an hour on the first floor alone. We then progressed to the floor above as the journey continued. As you get to the third floor you see a lot more about black power and the whole journey ends with the election of former President, Barack Obama.

I thought this was a great concept as you journey through the history of African Americans. Though it was emotionally difficult to see the horrors that enslaved Africans went through, as you continue the journey it becomes more positive as you see the progress made by African Americans, the black power movement and how they overcame. Despite knowing a lot of black history already, I learned a lot of new information at this museum. The remaining floors of the museum showcases modern African American culture such as sports, music, film and entertainment. 

After this visit I honestly believe that African Americans are the most resilient group on earth. Going through chattel slavery, separation of families, Jim crow segregation, the Ku Klux Klan, being lynched, red lining plus much more, African Americans have been able to still thrive and achieve great things. They never gave up and many were willing to risk their lives so that they and their future generations could have rights and freedoms. If you are ever in the Washington DC area I would highly recommend that you visit the museum. It is free and you can book the tickets online. Here is my tiktok video of my visit below:

Preparing for 2023

It's the end of 2022 and we are entering into 2023. Every January people make new years resolutions in relation to the goals they wish to accomplish by the end of the year, however, the majority of people will fail to achieve it. An example is the typical goal of wanting to lose weight where many people sign up to the gym. I have been an avid gym goer for almost a decade. Every January when I go to the gym it is very packed, but by February the gym is back to its usual capacity. I don't knock resolutions but personally, I believe in bettering myself on a continuous basis in all areas of my life. I am going to share my thoughts on how to level up for 2023.

Mentally

In order to improve yourself on a mental level it is important  to surround yourself with the right people. You need people around you who can give you good advice, push you in the right direction and support your goals and dreams. They say you are a reflection of the 5 closest people to you. If you are around people who try to bring you down, or speak fear into you cut them off (or at least distance yourself). If you can, stay away from toxic environments.

Also be mindful of the information and content you consume. What shows do you watch? what music do you listen to? If you consume negative content it will make you think negatively. Try to consume positive and educational content. Read books, watch documentaries, listen to podcasts that have substance, do online courses.

I would suggest making a Vision Board so that everyday you can physically see the goals you want to achieve. Positive affirmations are a great way to affirm your goals. Anytime you say these affirmations out loud you are putting out into the world the things you want to accomplish. 

Physically 

Do you take care of your body? Your health is extremely important, a number of health issues are due to having a bad diet and lifestyle. Look after your body, exercise on a regular basis, if you can afford to I would recommend  going to a gym. If not, you can do workouts at home, there are numerous fitness channels on YouTube you can watch and follow. Diet is also important, you are literally what you eat. If you are a busy person I would recommend meal prepping. When I do grocery shopping I purposely do not buy unhealthy snacks (chocolate, sweets etc) because I know I will eat it non stop at home, so instead I buy fruits to snack on.  I rarely eat junk food and I try not to eat out a lot as most of the food in restaurants & takeaways are high in sugar and salt.  Over time you can be disciplined regarding what you eat.

The next thing I would recommend, especially for my ladies is self-care,. I like to get facials, massages, nails done, eyebrows done etc. My mum raised me to always look presentable and to take care of myself plus it makes me feel good.

Spiritually 

I know people have different beliefs. If you believe in God I would suggest prayer, pray on a regular basis to keep that connection to God. I would also recommend reading your holy book, so if you are Christian read the bible to give you more knowledge on the word of God. I also like listening to gospel music. For those that aren't christian, meditation music is also good.

I find that being in nature helps my spirit. It helps me feel connected to the source. Journalling is also good where you write down your thoughts and emotions. Spiritually you want to be at peace, if your spirit is not at peace then there is bad energy disturbing your spirit.

In life strive for progress over perfection, we are not meant to be perfect. We are all a work in progress. Focus on your life and your journey which is unique to you. Live your life to the fullest as we only have one of it and don't know when it will end.  

I hope you have a happy and prosperous new year and here are some life lessons I want to share with you all:

• Know your worth and ALWAYS have standards and boundaries, if you don’t people will take advantage of you 

• Take advice from people who have already achieved what you want to. E.g if you want to buy a property speak to property owners

• Don’t associate with low standard people who will discourage you from wanting better for yourself or from achieving your goals 

• Your actions should be in alignment with your goals e.g if you want to be healthier, eat better & exercise 

• Learn to take constructive criticism and don’t get upset by it.

• Take accountability for your choices/actions. Don’t dwell on past mistakes, learn from it then do better. 

• Always upskill yourself because the world is advancing at such a fast pace. Google and YouTube university is free

• Take your health VERY seriously, it can be taken from you in a second 

• Try therapy. Have a support system. Never suffer in silence.

• If you were raised to have strong faith/morals never feel pressured into subscribing to the degenerate ideologies of this world. 

The Woman King

I recently watched the film “The Woman King”. When I first saw the trailer a couple of months ago I was super excited, a film about African history which does not focus on black victimisation. I decided a few years ago to no longer watch black history films which focus on the pain and suffering of black people, this includes slavery films and films about racism. I'm tired of the narrative of black people being victims, when we literally have a whole history which does not involve us suffering at the hands of white people. 

Before the film came out  I noticed that there was controversy surrounding the film. I saw people complain about the film's title and said it should have been called “Queen” instead as the title is masculinising a black woman. In many African languages, including my own, there is no word for “Queen”, the literal equivalent word when translated into English would be “woman king”. I believe that is why this film has that title. A further criticism is that the film portrays dark skin Black woman as masculine as a lot of Hollywood films generally do. Black women are very nuanced and are not monolithic. This film is about female warriors so of course they will be masculine. The Kings wives in this film were feminine and lived a very soft life.

Another criticism I saw is that the film glorifies the Dahomey who were slave traders (this is why some people boycotted this film). Prior to this film I was aware of the Dahomey tribe and their female military. The Dahomey tribe were  heavily involved in the slave trade as they generated a lot of wealth from it. They were brutal and would engage in human sacrifice.  The film does show their involvement in the trade, but the leader of the Agojie Nanisca seemed to be against the slave trade. In the end they are made to be the heroes as they free captives. People need to realise that this is a Hollywood film which purpose is to entertain an audience. Though the film is based on true events, such as King Gezo who did exist, the Dahomey war with the Oyo tribe which actually happened and the Dahomey wanting to trade palm wine with the Portuguese, it is not a documentary so we cannot expect it to be historically accurate. Some things in the film would have definitely been made up and dramatised for entertainment purposes. 

I liked the journey of Nawi, a young woman who refuses to get married off to an old abusive rich man, so her father gives her to the king.  She joins the Kings Guard and trains to become an Agojie warrior. She is stubborn, funny and speaks her mind. She also questions Dahomey traditions, such as why Agojie women can never marry and have families of their own but male warriors can. We watch her grow as a person and become a strong warrior.

Nanisca is the the general of the Agojie. She is strong and fierce. We do get to see her vulnerable side as she was a victim of rape. It is later revealed that she is Nawi's mother, when Nawi is captured by the Oyo to be sold into slavery. Nanisca goes against the King's order to go and save her daughter.

One of the key characters in the film is Malik, the son of a Dahomey slave and a white Brazilian Portuguese father. When Portuguese/Spanish slave owners had a child with a female slave, the child would take on the heritage of their father who would raise them, they would not become a slave. Malik accompanies his childhood friend who is a slave trader to Dahomey in order to see his mothers roots. He is immediately uncomfortable when he sees the slave square. During the film he falls for Nawi,  and does what he can to protect her. He is torn because he is loyal to his Portugeuse friend but his heart is loyal to his Dahomey people. In the end he chooses the Dahomey people over his childhood friend. His character shows the complexities of being biracial, e.g. struggling with identity, never fully fitting in, being forced to pick a side, being caught in the middle.

The film was amazing, I enjoyed every minute of it. I enjoyed seeing the Dahomey culture and practices, the perfectly executed war scenes, the strength and power of the Africans, especially at the end when they fought against the European slavers/colonisers and won.  This is a narrative which is not shown in Hollywood films. I believe this film will make people do their own research into the Kingdom of Dahomey and to learn black history for themselves. I'm glad a film like this was made, I hope that more films about black history (not black victimisation) are made in future.

Anti-Blackness amongst Black men

This post is about black men. It pains me that many of our black brothers have a deep hatred for each other and continue to kill each other, especially the young generation. We are all aware of the knife crime issue within the black community in the UK. There is also the gun crime issue in the USA. I do not believe in the term "black on black crime" because when white people commit crimes against  other white people it is not called "white on white crime", it's just crime. Further, crime is about proximity, you are more likely to be a victim of a crime of someone in your proximity. However, the rate that black men kill each other is higher than that of white men that kill each other. There is a real issue within these black communtities.

I remember watching one of Nipsey Hussle's interviews and he spoke about how gang members find an "opp" to kill. They will go to a rival gangs neighbourhood, if they see a man in a suit they will ignore him, if they see a white man they will ignore him. But if they see a black man who dresses the way they do, has the same kind of demeanour they have then that's the person they will attack. Nipsey then mentions the next point which I thought was really deep. He said by doing this, you are killing someone who is a reflection of you in a different neighbourhood, you are basically killing yourself. This is a deep level of self hatred.

The fact that as a black male you can see a fellow black brother you don't know, who looks just like you, but have so much hatred towards him that you wish to cause him harm, is very sad. The question I have is why are there black men like this? where does this mindset stem from? Some people say it's due to white supremacy, poverty, broken homes, drugs, music, culture. Personally, I don't believe in this modern age that white supremacy is the reason black men kill other black men, there needs to be a level of accountability.  I'm sure most people know that murder is wrong. Poverty may be a possible contributing factor however in "third world" countries, where there is extreme poverty, people do not murder each other at a high rate. I do think culture plays a big role, within black western communities there is a sub-culture which embraces degenerate behaviours such as criminality, gun crime, gang life, broken homes, and hyper-consumerism. These behaviours are also glorified through music (usually rap/drill). "Catching bodies" is cool, having multiple "baby mamas" is cool, going to jail is cool. Due to living in a very consumer based society, jealousy and envy is real, people want what others have and will kill in order to obtain it. These are the detrimental behaviours that are destroying our communities. There is complete disregard for human life. Black conservatives tend to call out these behaviours, but are  often called coons as a result. I remember hearing UK rapper Akala saying that if a white person wrote the lyrics that you see in some rap songs it will sound like they are KKK members, which is true.

Being a rapper is dangerous, over the years we have seen multiple rappers murdered. The most recent was Takeoff from the Migos, he was reserved and unproblematic. He was apparently killed by a stray bullet after a game of dice. PNB Rock was killed a couple of months ago. I had never heard of him until he died, I checked out his music and his content does not promote negativity. Let's not forget Nipsey Hussle, a man who tried to educate and uplift his community. In the UK, there have been drill rappers that have been murdered. I don't see any other genre of music where people are killed at this rate. When you kill somebody, it is just not just the victim who suffers. It is their family, their friends and  their wider community. When a white person kills a black person, black people will galvanise together, we'll protest, we'll see BLM. When a black person kill another black person it is crickets. If all Black lives matter then action needs to be taken when a black person is killed regardless of the race of the murderer. 

So what is the solution? I personally believe that it starts with having stronger family units and communities. We need strong black men in the homes to guide, teach and discipline their sons. It takes a village to raise a child, when a child starts to misbehave there needs to be someone who corrects them and nips their behaviour in the bud before it gets out of hand. I believe we also need to go back to God, (regardless of your faith) and in-still morals in people. We need to have self-love and see ourselves as the powerful entities that we are, we need to know our history and identity. It is also important that we know how to resolve conflicts without resorting to violence, and to hold each other accountable. I wish that negative black music would be banned, but it won't happen as it makes a lot of money for the record labels (which Kanye rightly called out in his drink champs interview). R.I.P to those black men who have lost their lives at the hands of other black men.