Do black people have a victim mentality?

When I was young, my mother told me that I needed to work twice as hard because I'm black. This is a sentiment which most black people have heard growing up, particularly black people growing up in predominantly white countries. I didn't understand it fully at the time as I was very young. Regardless, I worked hard in school and was academically on top.

I didn't feel like I was held back by my race, as I was outperforming most of my white peers in school and my teachers (who were mostly white) were positive towards me. They always reminded me that I could be anything I wanted to be. I didn't really understand racism or that I could be held back by the colour of my skin. I do understand that my experience at school is not indicative of that of other black people. I've heard stories from black people who experienced racism from their teachers, who had told them that they wouldn't amount to anything in life. Further, some who had high ambitions were told by their teachers that they should aim low.  Statistics also show that black students are excluded from schools at higher rates (in the UK). 

Lately, I have been listening to right wing/conservative black people (I'm more left-wing myself) to hear their commentary on racism and issues within the black community. I noticed that many of them deny that white supremacy/institutional racism is an issue, and they also say that black people have a "victim mentality", which keeps them in the position that they are in. 

I do not agree with them that racism is not an issue, we can not deny that there are ethnic disparities such as the black maternity death rate, stop and search figures, and ethnicity pay gaps. There are policies and institutions in place which have disadvantaged black people globally. We should be able to acknowledge these facts and realities. However, I do not think that we should base our whole identity on this. Having a victim mentality and defeatist attitude can be damaging to your psyche.

Do I believe that black people have a victim mentality? My answer is that some do and some don't. Black people today do not have it as hard as their ancestors did. Our ancestors went through chattel slavery, colonisation, genocide and wars, etc. They fought their oppressors so that we can have the freedoms and privileges that they didn't have. I have come across some black people who have the "victim mentality" that believe every single bad thing in their life is because of "the system/the white man". What I've noticed about some of these types of people is that they continue making poor life choices, which makes their situation worse, and they seem to lack accountability for their own actions. You get some left-wing people who highlight inequality in society, which I agree that they should. However, some can be extreme and act like black people are so oppressed that they have no chance to make it in life. One thing I do respect about black conservatives is that they do not allow their blackness to stop them from achieving in life. 

I think that mindset is a big factor. I am a black female, therefore, I am considered "doubly oppressed" and at the bottom of society's hierarchy. Do I view myself in this way? No, I don't. There were many black women in history who went through horrific circumstances and overcame them. They are victors and they paved the way for people like me. It would be a disservice if I do not utilise the opportunities that I have because of them.  I remember reading articles last year about black women in America being the most educated group and the fastest-growing entrepreneurs. These women see themselves as victors, not victims. 

We have to recognise that there are inequalities in society and that racism will always exist. Whilst living in these societies, we need to learn to circumnavigate "the system" and focus more on advancing ourselves and making decisions that will improve our lives. I feel that black communities need to have high racial esteem, we need to believe that we are good enough, that we are NOT inferior and that we are capable of doing what we put our minds to. We should not view ourselves through the eyes of racist people. Yes, there are black victims, but we shouldn't base our whole identity on victimhood.

Erasing blackness

About a month ago I saw a post about Rochelle Humes, who is a mixed race British singer, talk about presenting a documentary which explores why black women are 4x more likely to die from childbirth than white women in the UK. I was happy to see that a documentary was being made about this subject, so it can bring this issue to light. The next day it came out that Candice Brathwaite, a dark skin black British woman was suppose to host a documentary about the same topic, however this was no longer going ahead. Unfortunately, this concept is not new. Mixed race women are usually used as the face of Black women.

Mixed race women are seen as more palatable to the wider white audience due to their proximity to whiteness. I remember being young and watching black sitcoms. I noticed that when there was a black family, the daughter was usually mixed race, however the sons were always unambiguously black. I did find it strange and wondered why they didn't use a black female actor.

The identity of mixed race people varies between cultures. In the UK people who are biracial are called mixed race. In my country of origin, Ghana, most Ghanaians refer to them as Obroni (white person), in South Africa they are referred to as 'colored' and in the USA, due to the racist one drop rule they are classed as black. As someone who was raised in the UK I see them as mixed race, they are both black and white, not just black. I think it's disingenuous to expect mixed race people to ignore half of their DNA and  only claim their black side. I think this is dangerous as it erases monoracial black women. Further, this causes spaces which should be given to black women more likely to be given to those who are of mixed race. An example of this is when Zoe Saldana who is a mixed Latina actress portrayed Nina Simone, a monoracial black singer. They had to darken Zoe's skin, and make her wear prosthetics to give her fuller black features. There was of course a lot of backlash regarding this. There are plenty of black actresses that they could have easily been cast to play Nina Simone.

The average black woman does not look mixed race (though there may be a few that do). When it comes to representation, it is important for black women to see people that look like them that they can identify with. A lot of high achievers that we see that are the "first black X" are usually mixed people. Look at Barack Obama, the first "black" president in the USA, born to a white mother and Kenyan father and was  raised by his white grandparents. If both of his parents were black I doubt he would have have been able to become president. Halle Berry another mixed person, was the first black woman to win an Oscar for best actress. Even looking at Meghan Markle, despite the racism she is going through, if she was a monoracial black woman she would not have been allowed to even marry Prince Harry. It is easier for mixed race people to enter certain spaces than it is for monoracial black people.

Though the experience of mixed race people and black people do overlap a lot , they will never be the same. I do not doubt that a lot of mixed race people have experienced racism like many black people, but they do benefit from colorism unlike darker skinned black people. I cannot tell a mixed person how they should identify because I myself aren't mixed, and I haven't gone through their experiences. They should be able to have their own spaces and black people should also be able to have theirs. We should be able to recognise that we do have our differences but yet  support each other. There are many mixed race people who have made contributions in speaking out against injustice against black people, look at Bob Marley, even in modern times Colin Kapernick has done a lot for the black community and one of my faves is Akala. This post is not about causing division. We live in a patriarchal world which benefits men, do I hate men? No . We can recognise that someone who is different from you has more privilege, it doesn't mean that you hate them or segregate from them. I believe  that those that have certain privileges over others should use their position to help those who have less privilege than them. For example if there is a role for a black person and you are mixed and have been given that role you should speak out and demand that it is given to black person. We still do have a long way to go when it comes to black representation, especially of black women but I do believe we  can make change.

The Strong Black woman

"I'm a strong black woman!" a common phrase that we hear, I've been guilty of saying this phrase. I remember saying this to a guy one time who immediately checked me. He asked me why I wanted to be a "strong black woman" instead of just being a black woman. He was right. A lot of black women in society say this phrase thinking it is a compliment, because being strong is a good thing right? However it can be damaging, as it takes away our vulnerability and implies that we can constantly carry heavy loads.  

Society expects black women to be strong all the time and take whatever life throws at them. We are constantly disrespected and are expected to just accept it, once we speak out against it then we are "angry". We are expected to be "ride or die" in relationships, and endure "struggle love", for example if a man is a serial cheater or is doing nonsense, we are expected to still be there for him and accept his behaviour. If a black woman wants a man that is faithful, financially stable and will treat her like a queen, then some people will complain that her standards are too high, but yet it is fine for non-black women to have these standards.

It reminds me of the viral video of the black woman who earns a six figure income, who wanted  a man who also earns six figures, which I think is fair because she is asking for something that she also brings to the table.  However,  she is told  by a black man that she can't get a six figure man mainly because of her appearance. I thought this was extremely disrespectful because if she wasn't a dark skin black woman and she looked racially ambiguous, had light skin and light eyes he would not have said that.

I was recently in a conversation on Club House with multiple black women who were expressing their experiences and past traumas. There were many women who stated how they do not feel protected by black men, if anything most of their traumas and anxiety had been caused by black men. It reminds me of Malcolm X's speech where he said the most unprotected woman is the black woman. I agree with this statement. Other groups of men protect their women. Due to feeling unprotected black women feel they have to protect themselves. 

There are many black women who take on traditionally masculine roles. I personally believe that men should be the leaders, protectors and providers of their homes/families. I have seen men from different cultures do this. However a lot of black women have taken on these roles. There are black single parent families which are led by the woman, there are also some black two parent black families where the woman is leading the household while the father is more passive. In a lot of these households the woman is also the main breadwinner. Matriarchal families are quite common in black communities. This leads to the notion of black women being "superwoman" and doing everything. For example a black woman can be a single mother, have a high position at  a top company, have a masters degree and do everything independently. 

However this takes away from our femininity, we are not suppose to be superwoman and be responsible for doing everything. Black women should be allowed to be taken care of, vulnerable  and weak.  We should not be applauded for how much pain, trauma and stress we can endure because it assumes that we can handle anything that life throws at us, when this is far from the truth. I used to believe I had to endure stress. I once worked in a toxic environment which caused me chronic anxiety, despite this I was still going into work everyday working very hard, though mentally I was declining. This eventually affected my performance at work and my boss (who also happened to be a black woman) called me in. I expressed some of my feelings and she told me that I'm too sensitive, and I can't be a lawyer if I'm sensitive. She told me I have to be strong and to stop feeling sorry for myself. She continued to gaslight me which impacted how I viewed myself.

The idea of black women being strong also affects us in the medical field. There is this notion that black women have a high pain tolerance and don't feel physical pain as much as white women. This stems from the father of gynaecology J Marion Simm, a doctor who used to do experiments on enslaved black women without anaesthesia and said that black people do not feel pain. There are many medical professionals who still believe this notion.  That is why many medical professionals ignore black women when they complain of being pain and this has led to the statistic of black women in the UK being 5 times more likely to die from childbirth. I have heard from black mother's the negative experiences they had when giving birth to their child.

It is sad that we are not afforded the right to just be human, we feel pain, we hurt, we are emotional and we have every right to feel this way just as white women are allowed to. Our emotions are valid. It annoys me that we are expected to endure everything, this is extremely detrimental to our mental health. We shouldn't have to  carry extra burdens because we are black women. Further, the responsibility should not lie with us to continuously educate other groups about racism and sexism. If you are a black woman, do not take on extra unnecessary responsibilities, don't feel that you have to be a  particular way. Be yourself and bask in your femininity.

My reading list

I've always loved reading books from a very young age and have always been a nerd. If you were to ever enter my bedroom, you'll notice the numerous books I have ranging from fiction to non fiction, self-development, finance, law, spirituality, autobiographies and history. However, over the last couple of years I've been making an effort to buy and read more books by black authors. The list below is a list of my collection of books by black authors which I would recommend you read if this is something you are interested in.

A great place to get some of these books are indigibookz.com which is a black owned online bookstore, you can also get some of these titles from Amazon.

Black History 

• Before the Slave Trade - Robin Walker
• When we ruled - Robin Walker
• When the World was black
• Stolen Legacy - George M James
• Christopher Columbus and the Afrikan Holocaust - John Henrik Clarke
• Black and British: A Forgotten History - David Olusoga
• They came before Columbus - Ivan Van Setima 
• The Destruction of black civilisation - Chancellor Williams 
• The African origin of civilisation - Cheikh Anta diop 
• How Europe underdeveloped Africa - Walter Rodney 

Black Thought

• The Isis Papers: The Keys to the Colors - Dr Frances Cress Welsing 
• The Miseducation of the negro - Carter G Woodson 
• Black skins, White Masks - Frantz Fanon
• The New Jim Crow: mass incarceration in the age of colorblindness  - Michelle Alexander 
• The Souls of Black Folks - WEB Du Bois
• Philosophy and Opinions of Marcus Garvey 
• Message To The Millineals - Rizza Islam
• Post Traumatic Slave Syndrome -  Joy Degruy

Black Economics

• Powernomics - Dr Claud Anderson
• Blueprint for Black Power - Amos N Wilson
• Black Labour, white wealth - Dr Claud Anderson
• Black Girl Finance - Selina Flavius

 
Black Physical/Spiritual Health

• The Sacred woman - Queen Afua 
• African holistic health - Dr Llaila o Afrika 
• Medical Apartheid - Harriet A Washington

Auto/biographies

• The Autobiography of Malcolm X - narrated to Alex Haley 
• Long Walk to Freedom - Nelson Mandela
• Becoming - Michelle Obama
• Assata an Autobiography - Assata Shakur
• The interesting Narrative - Olaudah Equiano
• Of Water and Spirit - Malidoma Patrice Some
• Shook One - Charlemagne the God
• Natives -  Akala 
• Rise up - Stormzy
• Self Belief: the vision - Jamal Edwards