Mental Health

My introduction to mental health was about a decade ago, when I studied psychology at A-level. I remember learning about different mental health disorders and developing an interest in this subject.  Mental health is still a stigma within the black community, and  it is not openly discussed. In African communities, especially the older generation,  some believe that the answer to mental health  issues is to "pray" for it to go away, instead of actually addressing the issue. There is also the belief that black people are "strong" therefore we do not really suffer from mental health issues. A lot of times, mental health is viewed as a "white people" issue.  However, there are many black people who do suffer from mental health issues, but find it hard to speak to someone about what they are going through,  or to seek help because of how they may be perceived or judged.

This leads people to suffer in silence, which is dangerous. I hear of people committing suicide and those close to them will say things like "S/he seemed fine, I didn't know there was something wrong" "why didn't they say anything".  As human beings, we are very good at putting on masks and hiding what is going on inside of us.  Someone may be smiling on the outside but suffering  on the inside. Despite what you see, you never know what is truly going on in someone's life. That is why I believe it is very important to check up on the people you care about, to see how they really are, even if they appear to 'have everything together'. You never know, you could potentially save a life.

It is not easy to tell someone that you are suffering from mental health issues or to discuss what you are going through. That is why I believe it is very important for everyone to have a support network around them of people they can trust and talk to. This could be your friends, your family or even a therapist/counsellor. If you are going through difficulties in your life, please talk to someone about it and do not suffer alone.

Mental health can affect all types of people regardless of race, gender and class. More recently there has been more conversations about mental health. There are celebrities who openly discuss their battle with mental health. I believe this is a positive thing as mental health awareness is very important. Depression and anxiety are the most common forms of mental illnesses. In 2017, a third of sick notes written by GP's were for mental health reasons.

I believe mental illness are becoming more common due to changes in society. With the rise of social media we base our value and worth in what social media tells us. e.g. that we must look a particular way, we must earn a certain amount of money, we must live a particular lifestyle. Further, with the young generation, they get their validation from the amount of likes and social media followers they have. A study was done which showed that dopamine (which makes us feel good) is released in the brain when someone receives a like, therefore making us crave more likes etc. This is detrimental to our mental health. There is also societal pressure  to achieve certain milestones by certain ages, i.g. marriage, having children, having your own place or to obtain society's definition of "success". When we do not match up to these standards, we feel inadequate which can lead to low self esteem, low confidence and depression. A lot of mental health issues are triggered by external factors, e.g. life situations, people, environment.

Mental health is equally important as physical health. I dealt with depression years ago when nothing in my life was working out. I felt like I was worthless and a failure. I stayed in my room and isolated myself from everyone, and  was consumed by negative thoughts. It took me a while before I spoke to someone about how I felt. More recently, I have been dealing with anxiety and have experienced  panic attacks. I did not understand why this was happening to me and felt that something was wrong with me. One Sunday at church, my Pastor spoke about his experiences with anxiety and how he dealt with it. This made me realise that I wasn't  alone in what I was experiencing. I also remember some of the youtubers who I am subscribed to, open up about their mental health issues and how therapy had helped them.

I started to consider therapy, but I admit, I did have negative pre-conceived notions about therapy, hence  why I had put off going. It is when I got to a point where I was close to having a mental breakdown, that I sought assistance from a therapist. Therapy has helped me a lot to deal with my anxiety and to understand why I feel the way that I do. I've learned a lot from my therapy sessions, including thinking patterns and how to deal with certain emotions.  I have also learned more about myself that I wouldn't have known otherwise. I would recommend that everybody should try therapy, as we all go through difficulties in life. Just because you see a therapist it does not mean that you are "crazy" or that something is wrong with you. You don't need to be diagnosed with a mental health condition to see a therapist.

If you are going through difficulties with your mental health, remember that it is ok, you are human. This does not make you a weak person. You are not alone. Talk to someone about your struggles, there is help and support available. You can see a therapist through the NHS https://beta.nhs.uk/find-a-psychological-therapies-service/check . Make your mental health a priority and take care of it like you would do your physical body.

Colorism

Colorism can be defined as the discrimination of someone based on their skin complexion. This usually occurs within people of the same racial group. Colorism is prominent in black and Asian communities. I am mainly going to focus on colorism in the black community, particularly against black females. I have addressed this topic in previous blog posts but want to dissect this topic on a deeper level.

Recently the rapper Ghetts made a tune called 'Black Rose' which addresses the issue of colorism. I will quote some of his lyrics throughout this post.

The genesis of colorism occurred when Europeans colonised numerous countries where the native people were of a darker complexion. There was also the enslavement of African people. During this time, Europeans imposed their white supremacist ideologies and beliefs on the native people. This included the belief that white women were the epitome of beauty and femininity whereas darker women were not.

We have been conditioned to believe that the closer you are to whiteness, the more beautiful you are. We are also taught that dark skin, kinky hair and African phenotypes are “ugly”. In our communities mixed raced women (black & white) or light skin black women are deemed to be more beautiful. This is due to their proximity to whiteness. The more white you look the more beautiful you are, the more black you look, the uglier you are. That is why females who have lighter skin, lighter eyes, looser textured hair and European features are deemed more beautiful by society's standards than those who look more "black". There also seems to be a fetishisation of mixed people. There are even people out there who purposely choose partners that will give them mixed race children.

"they’ll be brothers same colour as her Pappa who will not be showing any sort of interest"
What saddens me is that many black men perpetuate and reinforce this narrative. They make comments such as “dark skin girls are ugly” “I only like lighties” “I only date light skin women” (things I've heard first hand from dark skin men). Many black men in music praise lighter skin women and make references to this in their rap lyrics . Some black men say that light skin females are just their preference, but the question is where did this preference come from? Why do some black men only see beauty in lighter shades and not in darker shades? How can a dark skin black man look at a black women of the same shade and have the audacity to say that he could never date her because of her skin color? This is clearly a sign of internalised self hatred because he refuses to date a woman who is a reflection of him.

"Disrespecting women who remind them of their mothers...sisters...cousins"
There is also the normalisation of disrespecting dark skin black women. There seems to be a trend of people whose old tweets come to light when they had said very disrespectful things about dark skin black women, but then justify it by saying “I was young” . This is not an excuse. Why is it that it is a "phase" to disrespect black women? why are people so comfortable with disrespecting dark skin women? why is it acceptable? this should never be normalised. There seems to be a hatred towards dark skin women in society (I talk more about this my blog post 'Misogynoir')

"These Kayne's have not become important to the Kim's yet"
In the media we constantly see successful Black men parading their light skin or non black partners more than we see them parade a dark skin partner (though there are some that do). It seems that amongst some black men having a lighter skin partner is a trophy. There are some black men who desire mixed/light skin women over a dark skin woman. This constant portrayal makes some dark skinned women feel undesirable and unattractive. I'm sure there are many dark skin females who have experienced being overlooked by guys for their lighter skin friend.

"Brothers back home using cake soap"
There is also light skin privilege, in the entertainment industry it is evident that lighter skinned women are more successful than their darker skinned counterparts . Beyoncé's father had stated that part of Beyonce's success is due to her being light skin. Most black women who are at the top tend to be of a lighter complexion. It is much harder for a dark skin women to achieve the same level of success despite the hard work they put in. Having lighter skin gives you more opportunities. Therefore, some people try to obtain this standard by lightening their skin to fit into society's standard of beauty.

"So who’s fighting for the sisters then? When their own brothers keep on dissing them"
When black women try to speak out about colorism we are told that we are bitter and angry. Our feelings are dismissed as if our experiences aren’t important. We are not “angry” women, we are hurt and trying to explain how we feel. We have emotions, we feel pain, we feel hurt we feel undesired. We live in society where being black and being a woman makes us deal with discrimination at a higher rate and puts us as the bottom of western society's totem pole. But some black men are not willing to listen and actually understand where we are coming from. From what I've seen, black women tend to defend black men more than black men will defend black woman. This is why I respect Ghetts for making Black Rose as it highlights the colorism issue in our community. Hopefully, it will challenge the thinking of black men, especially those with colorist ideologies.

"I love all types a women, Variety is ok"
I see beauty in all shades of women. I am not against black men dating lighter skin women, I only have an issue when black men refuse to see the beauty in women share their complexion and put them down while uplifting lighter skin women.

"Eww his black and his ugly Naaaahh I’m black and im lovely"
Dark skin is beautiful skin, black people should not put down another black person just because their skin is darker. There is no such thing as being "too black" or being "too dark", if you believe there is then you are clearly part of the problem and a colorist. We need to embrace ALL shades of black within our community and help to uplift and support each other.

So to my dark skin queens out there:

"No matter what they say you are beautiful"

Black Panther - For the Culture

I have been waiting to watch Black Panther since I saw the official trailer which was released 8 months ago. I had the opportunity to watch Black Panther the day it was released in the UK. To see such a huge film (marvel studios) with a black director, black lead roles and a majority black cast makes this a culturally significant film.Especially coupled with the fact that it is a film about a technologically advanced African country that has never been colonised or influenced by Westerners.

Representation is important and the characters in this film are not portrayed in subservient roles or as criminals, slaves or ghetto as western media usually portrays black people. It allows viewers to see black people in a progressive perspective. I love the fact that the lead women in this film are dark skinned black women with African features. They play such a pivotal role in this film. They convey intelligence, courage and leadership. These women are strong, fierce warriors, this is reflective of the female warriors who have existed in African culture for centuries. In the media when it comes to the representation of black women, we are used to seeing lighter skinned or mixed black women taking lead roles and the darker skinned females playing subordinate roles. I am glad to finally see females who look like me being the face of such a huge film.

There are many themes that are explored in this film. One of the themes is the segregation within the African community. In the film T'Challa states that only Wakandans are his people. Initially, he only cares about helping and preserving Wakanda. However Killmonger challenges this notion and tells T'Challa that all black people are his people. In the scene where Killmonger visits his father in the ancestral realm, his father tells him "They (the Wakandans) will never accept you." Tribalism is very real and reflects the way some Africans think, anyone who is not a part of their tribe or country is an outsider and is treated differently. People like that do not see the benefit of progressing Africa and those of African decent but rather their own tribe as they tend to feel their tribe is more "superior". This is a mentality that needs to change but is unfortunately deeply ingrained in some cultures and results in discrimination. Fortunately there are some African leaders who believe in working together to help the continent as a whole and those who are part of the diaspora.

Another theme explored is the plight of African Americans and their disconnect with their African ancestry. This is personified in the character of Eric Killmonger. He is the son of a Wakandan prince and an African American woman. He has been taught about his Wakandan heritage but has never had the oppurtunity to experience it or connect with the Wakandan side of his family. Though he is of Royal blood, he lives in the ghetto of America as a poor black man and experiences institutional racism, violence and poverty. This is the reality for many Black Americans. Killmonger is angry at the system, he is angry that his African side have completely neglected him and wants revenge. Though Killmonger is a villain I saw him as a revolutionary who wanted black people everywhere to have the power and resources to fight systematic oppression.

People from the African diaspora have lost their connection to Africa through slavery. Slavery robbed africans of their identity including their names, languages, religion and culture. One of the most powerful lines in the film that touched me was when Killmonger said "Bury me in the ocean with my ancestors who jumped from ships, because they knew death was better than bondage." Killmonger spent his life trying to build a connection between his American side and his African side and even in death he wanted to be with his african ancestors. . There needs to be a discussion amongst the black community regarding how we can build this bridge with africans and africans from the diaspora. I am aware that there is some division between Africans in America and African Americans. However I am glad this film is creating a conversation which needs to be had and is helping to build this bridge because black people all over the world have come together to support this film, regardless of whether they are African or American.

What makes Wakanda so great is that it has not been influenced by westerners. Wakanda has a natural resource called vibranium. Wakandans know that if the West find out about this they will steal this resource and destabilise the country, creating war and poverty (this is reflective of what is happening currently in Congo in regards to Coltan) . Previous kings of Wakanda have done all in their power to prevent this from happening. Africa is a land rich in resources which has continuously been pillaged leaving many of it's people left behind living in poverty, while other nations benefit. This still goes on till this day and not by just the west but also China. The characters are aware of the detrimental foreign involvement in Africa. For example Shuri refers to Ross as a "coloniser". In the scene at the Museum, Killmonger tells the museum worker that her ancestors stole all the African artefacts in the museum. I do not believe that any country outside of Africa will ever have the interests of Africa at heart. It is only africans that can do that.

Overall Black Panther is a great film and Ryan Coogler has done an amazing job (he is only 31!) I am happy to see the support black people are showing to this film on a global level. Records have been broken despite the notion that black films do not sell. Black people have turned up to the cinema in their African attire to show their support. I hope this sets the precedent for more black films to be made on a major level. I also hope this creates more opportunities for black directors and more roles for black actors. I would like to continue to see more films with Africans portrayed in strong lead positive roles (I'm hoping the next film is about Mansa Musa!).

WAKANDA FOREVER! 

Misogynoir

Misogynoir is a term combining the words Misogyny (hatred towards women) and Noir (the French word for black). You may have guessed now that Misogynoir means the hatred of black women. Being a black woman especially in western society means that there are two factors against us, firstly being a woman and secondly being black. Many black women, especially in Western society have to deal with both racism AND sexism in their lives. In regards to the power structures in these societies, black women are at the bottom and white men are at the top.

Black women have been huge players in movements to fight for their rights but these movements tend to ignore their plights. Feminism tends to focus on the issues white women face while ignoring the racial element involved in regards to black women. The American civil rights movement had many black women who played pivotal roles but their efforts were mainly overshadowed by black men. When black women speak out against the injustices that they face they are usually given negative labels. It is as if black women are not meant to be heard. In society there are many negative stereotypes surrounding black women. We are described as being angry, aggressive, having bad attitudes and being unattractive. The media perpetuates these negative stereotypes (just look at black women in reality TV shows). Even in films and TV shows black women are usually portrayed in subordinate roles where they are loud, ghetto, a baby mama or promiscuous. There is a lack of positive representation of black women in the media.

Black women are constantly being disrespected by others. Back in 2011 a psychologist named Satoshi Kanazawa wrote an article on "Psychology today" stating that black women are the least attractive women compared to other races. There was a huge backlash and the article was removed. However this notion is reflected in wider society where there is a Europeanised standard of beauty. White women are the standard of beauty and femininity whereas black women who do not fit these white standards are not seen a beautiful or feminine. Look at Serena Williams for example who has throughout her career been insulted because of her appearance, she has been called terms such as "manly” and "gorilla". When I see Serena Williams I see a beautiful black woman (plus she has a body to die for!) unfortunately there are many people who do not share these views. Even looking at Michelle Obama she was constantly insulted while she was the 1st Lady and has been called an "ape in heels". Despite their achievements and successes there are people that do not respect them because they are black women.

People have always disrespected our features, for example our natural afro hair has been perceived as unkempt and unprofessional to the extent that many black women have been told to change their hair at their workplace or school. There are men in the media who have used the term "Nappy headed" as an insult to black women with afro textured hair. Even our facial features e.g. having full lips were not seen as attractive in mainstream society until Kylie Jenner started getting lip fillers to increase the size of her lips then all of a sudden everybody wanted bigger lips. Features that were ridiculed on black women are praised on white women. Even having a big butt wasn't desirable in mainstream society but when the likes of J Lo and Kim K were praised for their butts it became acceptable by society.

As much as I wish I did not have to say this, some of the contributors to misogynoir are black men. In music, particularly hip-hop there is a lot of disrespect towards black women who are often referred to by derogatory terms. In music videos there is the hypersexualisation of the black female body. The level of disrespect is increased in relation to dark skinned women. Recently rapper Kodak Black said in an interview that he likes light skinned women and not women his complexion because they are too "gutter" (whatever that means). The sad thing is that I've heard this narrative first hand from black males who say they do not date black girls and if they do they are mixed race/light skinned black girls, because dark skinned black girls are too rude, have attitudes, or are not attractive. When certain black men become very successful they choose to only date white women (I'm not against interracial relationships, just men that put down women of their race in the process). These men have internalised so much self-hatred within themselves that they do not want to see their image in a woman that they date. They have been brainwashed and conditioned by society to believe that lighter/paler skin equates to beauty (That is why I disagree with men who say wanting a lighter skinned female is just a "preference").

This has a domino effect because in turn this affects the self-esteem of dark skinned girls who believe that they are ugly because of their skin color. I have a friend who is a make up artist and she has told me that she has had very young dark skinned females ask her to match their foundation shade on their skin and when she does they are not happy and request a lighter foundation shade to make their skin look lighter. This really hurt me when she told me this. This detrimental narrative has been internalised by many black women and some will go to great lengths to erase their blackness (just look at Lil Kim).

Human life started from the Black Woman (as we all know life started in Africa). However throughout history black women have been marginalised, discriminated against and oppressed but despite these hurdles, black women have remained strong and resilient. As a black woman I will not allow my gender or race to hinder me from achieving my goals. I will not allow society to dictate how I should view myself. We do not need validation from people who have white supremacist ideologies or misogynistic beliefs. I see my skin and gender as a blessing, not a curse, I am a proud black women. Despite the prejudices we may face I am glad that there has been a shift in society and more black women are embracing who they are and achieving great things. Below is my favourite speech by Malcolm X.