Thursday 6 April 2023

A letter to my younger (12 year old) self

Dear Dinah,

You are such an intelligent and very wise girl, especially at your young age. Don't dumb yourself down to fit in. You are such a good person with a clean heart, and will do what you can to help others. Unfortunately there is so much evil in this world and you will come across many people in life who will try and take your kindness for weakness. There are people who will say and do mean and hurtful things to you, but remember that this is a reflection of them, not you.

You are beautiful and capable of so much but you do not realise how powerful you are, you will allow negative comments to make you have low confidence and self-esteem.  Sometimes when others see greatness in someone, they will say things to bring them down. It is because you are great and God's hand is on you, some people are jealous of you that is why they are mean towards you. Don't allow this to taint who you are.

You always try to make the right decisions. You will seek guidance from those you trust, though some of them may try to genuinely help you, they will guide you to places which will not serve you. There are times your gut will tell you not to go down a certain path but you will ignore as you will decide to follow the advice from an elder you trust. You need to be more confident in your own decisions and always trust your gut, it will never fail you. There are people who will never understand your choices and think you are crazy, but it is not for them to understand. Don't allow people's opinions of you to negatively affect you. 

You need to be closer to God and pray for discernment especially when it comes to people, but due to your good heart you want to see the good in everyone and give them the benefit of the doubt. However, that at times will lead to negative outcomes. There are people who you thought had good intentions who you have allowed to have access to you but instead they will cause you pain. You will keep questioning why because you have done nothing wrong to them but you have to understand that there are people with evil spirits out there who seek to destroy good people. You do not need to be a bad person for others to do bad onto you. This is why you also need to pray for God's protection. Spiritual attacks are real and you will go through some struggles but remain strong and keep God as your foundation.

There are times you will make mistakes, there are times you will fail, there are times you will make the wrong choices but this should not define you. Remember you are  human and humans aren't perfect. Stop putting all this pressure on yourself to be close to perfect to meet other peoples expectations of you, you are allowed to fail and make mistakes. Don't take failure to heart, when certain things don't work out the way you want it to, it doesn't make you a failure. Use failure as a lesson to learn and build yourself.

You are destined for greatness and will accomplish a lot in this life, more than you can ever imagine. Many people will look up to you even those you do not expect. You need to be able to see the greatness in yourself  that others see, stop thinking you are not good enough. 

I want you to remember you have friends and family who love you very much and will always have your back. Despite the times you may breakdown and cry, the times you are depressed, the times you are anxious, the times you think you are not good enough, they still love you. Do not be led by your feelings, remember God during your hard times. Always stick to your principles, never apologise for who you are. If it makes others uncomfortable then so be it. I am so proud of you and the woman you will eventually grow up to become.