Body Image and The Black Woman

Hi reader’s I have been M.I.A for a while but I’m back now.

Today I saw a newspaper article about a 20 year old woman from London who died from buttock injections she received in the USA (full story here). At first the questions raised from this story is why someone would risk their life just to have a large butt? What was she thinking doing such a dangerous procedure? I was thinking to myself that there is more to it than having  a larger butt
 for aesthetic purposes. There is a much deeper psychological explanation behind it.

As a 21 year old black female, growing up I was a very skinny girl, my size did not bother me until my teenage years. I’ve had comments made to me such as “omg you are so skinny”, “Do you even eat?” and numerously I’ve been called “anorexic”. These words used to hurt me and as a result I had very low self-esteem.  Many of my friends were bigger than me and in the black community being thick is seen as a favorable size for a black female to be and I did not 'fit' that. Even once I had an Asian friend say to me “you are skinny for a black girl”.  I felt that I needed to conform to the image of what a black girl’s body should look like so ate large amounts of junk food to gain weight but that did not work. As a result my lifestyle was becoming more unhealthy.

The media constantly talks about pressures on white women to be skinny but you never hear of the pressure on black girls to be thick. In recent years there has been the whole “Video Vixen” phenomenon in hip hop video’s and in song lyrics (i.e  Sir Mixalot – Baby got back). This body type consists of large breasts, small waist, large butt/hips and thick thighs. The media embraces this hourglass body type (i.e Nicki Minaj, Kim Kardashian) and it appears that many black males prefer females that look this way. Many women of African descent are known for having large buttocks therefore it is expected of every black female to automatically have that asset but people fail to realize that this is not true. Society have unrealistic expectations of how a women’s body should look like but the majority of women do not look like these models and as a result are left with low self confidence and self esteem.

Buffy The Body famous for her Assets

 I’m going to be honest ,there was a time I used to aspire to have the ‘video vixen body’ and there are many black females that still do. Many feel succumbed to the pressures to conform to this image. However, many of these vixens we see on T.V and in Magazines have had surgical procedures such as breast implants, liposuction, butt implants etc in order to obtain the so called “perfect body” that we see.  Many women who cannot afford the surgery will undergo cheaper, dangerous and potentially fatal procedures.  For example there are some women who are consuming pills which are used to fatten chickens in order to gain weight. The pressures stem from the media, men, our communities and society that is why a high number of black women risk their lives to achieve these desired looks.


There is nothing wrong with wanting to have a better looking body whether your overweight and need to lose weight, or under weight and need to gain, or tone up certain areas, yes exercise is important and also having a healthy body. Women come in all shapes and sizes tall, short, fat, skinny and we should embrace our bodies, this took me a long time to do. We shouldn’t allow external factors to stop us from loving our bodies. The images we see in the media are fake and are highly photoshopped. We should stop aspiring to have unrealistic bodies but instead aspire to have healthy bodies. Real women have imperfections such as stretch marks, cellulite, area’s of fat etc it is NORMAL and no one is perfect. Real women aren't perfect and perfect women aren't real.

Ki Toy Johnson

Written by Dinah

Happy New Year!

Normally around this time of the year everyone starts making new years resolutions i.e. to lose weight, to give up smoking etc. You normally hear phrases such as "This year is going to be my year" or "This year I am going to change and become a different person". The reality is that this happens every new year. There is always a big hype where people are adamant about making changes and are really motivated. However this dies down around February where people seem to forget about their goals and go back to their old habits, therefore not achieving their goals, and when it comes to December the whole process starts again.


This is not a useful tactic at all, it is just a waste of time.  I admit I used to do that myself. I think the problem is that many people do not set their goals properly and end up being unmotivated,  once  this happens you are unlikely to achieve the goals that you set out to accomplish.


There is a useful way of setting goals using the mnemonic SMART 


Specific - you need to specify exactly what you want to achieve, do not make vague goals like "i want to lose weight" be specific i.e I want to lose 1 stone


Measurable - you have to be able to quantify your goal so you can easily keep track of your progress. For example if your goal is to read more books say something like "i will read 3 books a week"


Attainable - When you decide on what your goals are you need to figure out how you are going to achieve them. You need to create goals that are actually attainable and not too far out of your reach. For example if your goal was to learn a new language giving yourself a week to do so is not wise but giving yourself a year is much more achievable. 

Realistic - Your goals need to be realistic. Don't say for example that you are going to lose 10 stones in 10 days because it is very unrealistic. Yes you can have ambitious goals but make sure it is something that you know you can achieve.


Time - It is good to give yourself an appropriate deadline in which to accomplish your goals. This allows you to work towards something and focus on completing it before a specific time. This will encourage you to achieve your goals otherwise if there is no deadline you won't feel the need to accomplish the goal.


Remember that you need patience and persistence to achieve your goals. Don't try and achieve too much quickly or you will get discouraged. You need to keep at it even if things don't go well keep going on. Some of the most successful people failed many times before they were able to achieve what they wanted. One quote I like is "Fear of failure becomes fear of success for those who never try anything new". Don't allow fear, procrastination, laziness, other people's opinions stop you from achieving what you want to in life. Be the best you, you can be and everyday is a new day to work on your goals you don't need to wait till Janauary 1st before you make changes.

Happy New Year to you all and good luck with achieving all of your goals!


Written by Dinah

Why do we celebrate Christmas?

It's that time of the year again where we exchange gifts, eat  roast turkey (or chicken), decorate our homes and give out cards. As a child I used to love Christmas, mainly because of all the customs that came with the celebration of Christmas such as receiving presents and eating a lot of food. Those were the times I had the 'Christmas spirit' which eventually disappeared as I got older.

Growing up in a Christian home I had always believed that Christmas day was Jesus' birthday. That is the reason why school children take part in the nativity play right? or  films about Jesus birth in Bethlehem are shown on TV on christmas day?. For a "Christian festival" it is celebrated by many non-christians and many aspects of the celebration has nothing to do with Christianity at all. For example why do we eat turkey on Christmas day? why do we put up Christmas tree's and decorate it? and how does Santa Claus fit in?  I started to do my own research on the origins on Christmas.

Many biblical scholars say that it is highly unlikely that Jesus was born in December. They say it is more likely that he was born around September. So why do we celebrate Christ birth on 25th December? Well this date has pagan origins in ancient Rome. The Romans used to celebrate the winter Solstice (shortest day of the year) which was used to worship their God Saturn (The God of agriculture) during 17th-24th December. On 25th December they celebrated  the Re-birth of the Sun God Mithras. The celebrations involved  having a feast, merry making, lights, giving presents etc. Sounds familiar doesn't it? This had occured many years before the birth of Christ. Many years later the Roman Catholic Church decided to 'Christianize' this festival and adopted 25th December to mark the birth of Jesus who is viewed as 'The light of th world'.

The idea of Christmas trees are thought to also stem from winter solstice celebrations. In Germany it was normal practice to cut down fir trees and put it in their homes since they believed that it represented life.

But where does Santa Claus come from? well there was a man called Nicholas from Turkey who was a Saint during the 4th century. He was a devout Christian and used to give to the poor and needy and was known to be a very generous person especially towards children. After he died his legacy continued and evolved into what today is the modern day Santa Claus.

Why are turkeys eaten on Christmas day? well traditionally in Britain it was goose that was eaten on Christmas day then in the 16th century Turkeys were introduced in England which eventually replaced the eating of goose. King Henry VIII was cited to have been the first person to eat turkey on Christmas day.

There are some customs we that we take part in in modern day Christmas celebrations that derive from pagan rituals which were practised centuries ago. I'm not saying taking part in these customs are evil but I do think it is important to understand why we do what we do and know its origins.

An important thing to remember is regardless of your personal beliefs, Christmas allows us to show love, practice the act of giving and spend time with those important to us. I hope you enjoy this holiday and we wish you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!


Written by Dinah

The System of Life 2

This is a continuation of my previous post called 'The system' if you have not read it yet I suggest you read it then continue with this post. As a final year student at university I will officially become a graduate next year. The expected next step for me will be to attain a graduate job.  As a result of ‘the system’ mentality, I have always believed that once I attain all of my academic qualifications with high grades then getting a 'good' job would be inevitable. How wrong was I?

Growing up I have realised society is not as meritocratic as I had once thought. Academic success is not a guaranteed ticket to a good job. Nowadays there is more of an emphasis on knowing the right people and having plenty of work experience in order to secure a good job especially in this economic climate.

Most recruiters want a person who has the work ethic and experience rather than someone who has purely academic qualifications and nothing else to offer. This is because education can never be a substitute for practical work experience since it is a whole different environment. School does not prepare you for the world of work or teach you how you can create wealth (unless your course includes a placement year). It seems as if most of the theory learned throughout education is mainly useful for just passing exams (there are many exceptions to this especially if what you have studied is directly related to your future career).

Don’t get me wrong I believe that education is very important and having a degree does increase your job prospects but there another type of education we don’t learn in school. The creation of wealth starts in the mind; wealthy people are always continuously creating more wealth because they have a rich mentality, whereas a ‘poorer’ person has a completely different mindset about money. For example wealthy people make investments in order to keep multiplying their wealth and they pass this down to their children. A poorer person’s mentality towards money is that you should get a job (Just Over Broke) in order to pay bills so any money earned it just spent and not increased. That is why when a ‘poorer’ person wins the lottery they usually finish all their money, because they have a poor man’s mentality. This following video expands upon this.

From reading many books about the creation of wealth the recurring factors are:

1. Do something you are really passionate about do not allow money to be your only motivating factor
2. Find a mentor in your chosen field
3. Read many books on wealth and success, study the lives of successful people
4. Never let people put u down, be persistent and never give up
5. And most importantly change your belief systems about money, think like a wealthy person because your thoughts will eventually manifests into reality

This is an inspirational speech by Steve Jobs creator of Pixar a must watch

Written by Dinah